Whether you are aware of it or not, your child is watching you and learning from you – your behaviors, words, emotions – so what are you teaching them? What are they learning from you? What do YOU need to change?

Have you ever wondered how to improve your child’s attention span without prescription medicine?

Researchers at the University of Cincinnati may have found a solution for you. The researchers recruited 33 boys aged eight to 10 for a study involving supplementation with DHA, an omega-3 fatty acid and the principle fatty acid in the gray matter of the brain. The boys were divided into three groups that received either a placebo, a low-dose (400mg) DHA supplement, or a high-dose (1,200 mg) DHA supplement. Using MRI brain imaging to test the boys’ attention level, the scientists found that both the low-dose and high-dose DHA groups experienced greater increases in attention. The imaging tests also revealed increased activity in the prefrontal cortex. This finding comes as no surprise since low activity in the prefrontal cortex is associated with attention deficit disorder. I recommend omega-3 supplements, such as our Omega-3 Power formula, which contains 580mg of DHA per serving to all of my patients with ADD.

To Your Brain Health,

Daniel G. Amen, MD CEO, Amen Clinics, Inc.
Distinguished Fellow, American Psychiatric Association

Read it a couple of times and think about it – are you expressing or emoting?

Thoughts are the language of mind.
Feelings are the song of consciousness.
Stillness is the space between both.

Feelings often result in expressions.
Thoughts always result in emotions.

When you emote instead of express,
the space in between (YOU) is in chaos.

How and what you express, depends on you.
You are the space in which mind and consciousness exist.

Expression in chaos, is emotion, and is mind.
Expression in stillness will always invoke consciousness.

Your experience is the result of your expression.

When love, joy, freedom and truth
have become the song of your experience,
you will know that life has become your expression.

– YIN, 2010

Kevin introduced the word Genshai today.

It means to never act/speak/behave in a way that will make someone feel small;

never let anyone treat you small, and;

never treat yourself small.

I love this. I won’t elaborate much because I think each can let it sink in what Genshai means to them and perhaps where they are not honoring Genshai.

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from the fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

This article posted at CNN.com covers a study looking at internet addiction in teens. They note “it’s more likely to happen if kids are depressed, hostile, or have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or social phobia,” which definitely makes sense. Video games and the internet appeal to the senses of someone with ADHD, and also provide simulation and an outlet, or a sense of connection, for teens with depression or social issues.

I am pretty concerned with the amount of kids and teens I am seeing in my Seattle counseling and therapy practice that could be considered addicted or at least extremely over-focused on video games or the internet. Although the study looked at teenagers, I also see many kids between the ages of 9-12 (ie pre-teen) who also really struggle with internet/video game addiction as well.

Many kids seem to be fine with “screen time”, computer use, and video games – but it can be a slippery slope with some kids – get a DS or PSP for a birthday and often parents think it is great for a bit – it keeps kids occupied, you know where they are, even used as a tool for motivation (ie – get a new game when you clean up your room, get A’s, etc). But frequently I’ve seen kiddos who end up only wanting and being on the DS or computer, they stop playing or finding other things to do, and if they can’t be on the game then they sit and think about being on the game..waiting until they can play. I’ve seen situations where it seems that the device becomes the only motivator, where a kiddo won’t do anything without the “reward” of game time afterwards. I’ve even seen kids who literally seem to go through withdrawal when the game/device/time is taken away – being irritable, aggressive, have trouble sleeping, even displaying physical pain, body aches, etc.

Even more challenging, as the article notes, can be the treatment. We are surrounded by the internet – kids are even required to use it for school work and projects – so it is not the type of addiction where we can just remove the “problem” (ie internet) all together and call it good. Video game devices might be a bit easier to take away all together, but often I see parents resorting back to using it as a motivator or reward…and with so many video games available on the computer…and kids needing a computer/internet for school…we have a challenge on our hands.

I think its extremely important for parents to monitor and limit game and screen time starting at a young age. Kiddos addicted to screen time may literally need to go cold-turkey and detox by not having access for a significant period of time, but ultimately they need to be taught to use the computer or game responsibly. Also, equally important is addressing underlying factors related to video and internet addiction – depression, ADHD, low self esteem, social phobias, anxiety – all make video games more appealing than the real world and must be addressed and treated for progress to be made.

I also have concerns about kids with a tendency towards video game or internet addiction as children and what might happen in the future if left untreated or to “run its course”. I think there is a concern that these kids are learning to medicate and self-regulate with a external stimulus like video games – and could this lead to drug or alcohol addiction in their adulthood in a similar attempt to self medicate. We have to help them while they are young – and usually it is only the adults in their life that can see that video games might be a problem. These kids aren’t able to regulate the video games themselves and parents have got to be aware and involved.

Interesting article that seems to show that factors like BPA, a plastic chemical, can have impact on children exposed during pregnancy. This article correlates aggression and hyperactivity in toddler girls with mothers who were exposed to BPA  while pregnant. The article does note though that the study does not necessarily indicate that these kiddos have higher rates of behavioral disorders, only that they had aggression scores similar to boys.

I am removing the comments functionality from this blog. Seems most people just email me directly which is great. I’m just tired of sifting through the spam. So, email me if you need to at robyn@thriving-child.com.

Best wishes,

Robyn

It goes without saying that everyone needs a break sometime. Parents and kids alike need to get away and have downtime away from the usual routine. I know lots of people are doing staycations this year, but I definitely think you need to get out of your own home to shake things up and get some real downtime. Go camping or whatever, but get out of your house. Changing the scene will change the way you think about things, and can also change how you respond to those around you.