Seattle Child Therapy – Thriving Child Blog

Being sick..and being present..

In the last few days I was sicker than I have been in years. I was beginning to think I was invincible and must have an extremely hearty immune system since it seems everyone around me has been sick, and I never got it.

Well, the universe began to give me warning on Thursday night as I began to slip into a foggy haze, a slight chill that wouldn’t quite go away, a sore throat and a bit of a cough. By Friday I had been put in my place, with full on aches and pains, so much pressure in my head that my teeth hurt, a cough down to the depths of my lungs and almost the inability to remain vertical.

I spent all of Friday in bed – with my head pounding I couldn’t stand to read, and I found the sad truth that there is absolutely nothing on TV during the day. Bored out of my mind I began to think about my present situation, the pain I was in, how I felt, how my body felt, what I was doing and what I wasn’t doing.

I have to say that one day was a day I am grateful for – as much as I love the idea of being present on ones own self in this space and time, it does not happen much for me. In my line of work as a therapist I am present a lot – for and with the client – I am present in what they are saying, displaying, showing, expressing, not saying – but that is not the same as being present with my own feelings, pains, thoughts. Often I spend time trying to get away from my own presence – trying to shake of the emotions of others I was saturated with that day, or thinking about what I need to do next and where I need to go. Like many of us, my thoughts are centered around other people and what they need and what I need to do for them, or around my own life of what to do.

So now sick in bed, I truly was present with exactly the presence of the fatigue, soreness, illness of myself, right now, here. And I accepted it, and I loved it. I didn’t love being sick or feeling the way I did, but I love that there was no getting away from it. Nothing I did could take me out of the moment of being here..crappy as it was…in flesh and bone and soul. me. here. now.

I think it’s very true that we don’t notice, or appreciate something, until it’s gone. This gave me such a wake up call to the presence of my body, my being in daily life, and made me so grateful for my general health and wellbeing as well. Its easy to take for grated being able to get up everyday and to basically forget how your body feels because it feels pretty good.

In a funny way I also had a reality check to a fantasy I think all of us have. I have occasion wondered what it would be like to not work or not really be doing anything…and now I get that I could not do that! I have to be putting energy out, and being in contact with others in exchange – it makes me feel good! I am this body, in this flesh and soul, but experiences and this life, are mean to be shared!

In any case, that was my ah-ha experience from being sick. I believe that we attract experiences to us to learn from, and I like to think I learned the lesson from this one. Not to say I won’t get sick again…but this time it was a good thing.