Seattle Child Therapy – Thriving Child Blog

Back to school…some observations…one the young ones

Thriving Child has been so busy with the back to school rush that I have completely neglected to blog! sorry! It’s been an interesting couple of weeks both with existing clients and the new. With the young ones, I have seen lots of excitement and anxiousness (especially before school started) moving into stomach aches, excuses, avoidance, and “I can’t” or “I don’t want to.” I’ve also seen kids that were doing great all summer at home now seem to fall apart the minute they walk in the door from school – picking on siblings, fighting with parents, being “unreasonable”.

I think it’s entirely normal for kids to have anxiety and fear when coming into the school year. Especially for young ones who may not have seen peers all summer, they may feel out of place, and can have trouble picking up where they left off last year. Helping to foster peer relationships – having kids over on the weekend or participating in events with other families can help children bond with classmates and make the school day more fun (and less anxiety provoking).

What I am also noticing is kids who keep it together all day – following the rules, keeping quiet, contained – and then coming home and exploding on the family or driving them crazy. I think it’s important to try and put yourself in the position of you child and see what they are needing to do all day, and what sort of release are they gaining at home. Sometimes active children simply need to run wild once they get home – would you rather have it be at your home, or at school? With that said, you might need to help create some activities to burn off some energy, and be a bit more tolerant of a chatter box who has kept quiet all day.

On the other hand, if your child is coming home and picking on their younger sibling, or the dog, or seems to battle with you over everything – they might be feeling like they have no control over anything at school and then go overboard at home. While it’s not appropriate to kick the dog, you could help your child express some of their frustration by talking about what’s happening at school, help them see some of the areas in the school day when they do get a choice (recess? art time?) and give them some control at home – maybe they get to pick their snack and what they do for the first hour. It’s a tricky balance – give your child praise for keeping it together at school, give them an appropriate outlet to unwind, and maintain that mean or abusive behavior is not okay.

more to come…