Seattle Child Therapy – Thriving Child Blog

So what is counseling about anyways?

I think often parents (and kids) are wary of counseling or “therapy” because they are not sure what is going to happen once they are in the office. Media often portrays a therapist sitting with legs crossed, saying “uh-huh uh-huh, hummmmm…tell me more about that…how does that make you feel?” Granted, there is a wide variety of ways in which therapists do their work, and most at one time or another will say “how does that make you feel” but in general, my experience of therapy, both as a therapist and as a client, is that it is a dynamic exchange.

Sometimes I wonder if parents are afraid they are going to be told they are a bad parent and that it’s all their fault something is happening with their child. This is about as far away from my way of working as you can get, and of most of my colleagues.

First off, coming to counseling doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t handle something yourself or that you’re a “bad parent”, but it does mean you’re willing to ask for a bit of help. It actually takes a lot of strength and courage to ask for help – and it shows you are concerned and committed to the well-being of yourself as a parent, and your child. Second, counseling is designed to be a supportive atmosphere and to help highlight issues and feelings you might not see on the surface. I want you to leave my office feeling better than you did when you walked in. As a parent I want to help you become very aware of what you do well, and build upon those strenghts. It’s also very natural to feel like “I never wanted to parent like my parents, yet I find myself saying the same things my mother said to me.” We can work with that too!

When working with kids, a big part of it is helping them to be more aware of their emotions and finding constructive ways to express them. It’s also about giving them an open forum to talk about whatever is on their mind. As much as parents would love to feel they’re open enough for their kids to talk about anything, the reality is that most kids do not feel that way. So, sometimes counseling is like taking the cork off a shaken pop bottle – simply releasing the pressure and giving kids a venue to talk about what’s happening within them can lead to a huge outpouring!

As a therapist, I’m here to help you get the most out of the time you spend in my office. I am here for the parent and the child – I am not here to judge or be a critic or say “you should do this” and “why did you do that” and I’m definitely not here to try and make you feel bad about yourself. I hold the space for change, and to help you see the strong, capable person within.