Seattle Child Therapy – Thriving Child Blog

3 Steps to Extinguish Unwanted Behaviors!

Now seeing clients in Wallingford

I am pleased to announce the move is complete and I am now seeing clients in my new Wallingford office, at Wallingford Work Spaces. Located at Sunnyside and 45th, this new location has easy access to I-5 and street parking and is easier for those coming from Bellevue and the east side. I’m excited because my office is much bigger – more room for kids to play, do art, and just be! I also love that my building is filled with photographers, acupuncturists, therapists, graphic designers, etc. So when you are waiting in the waiting room, no one knows who you might be there to see (ie more privacy), and kids don’t feel like they are going to a doctor’s office (not that anything is wrong with doctors, but sometimes kids aren’t so comfortable).

I will also be expanding my practice into anti-aging health and skin care. I’m very excited to offer some of the best multi-vitamins available, for both kids and adults, as well as skin care to stop the process of aging in the skin, address acne, and wrinkles. This is a very exciting time and I’m excited to share this with you. www.howisey.ageloc.com

Your experience is the result of your expression

The words below are from the gate144.com newsletter I subscribe to.

Read it a couple of times and think about it – are you expressing or emoting?

Thoughts are the language of mind.
Feelings are the song of consciousness.
Stillness is the space between both.

Feelings often result in expressions.
Thoughts always result in emotions.

When you emote instead of express,
the space in between (YOU) is in chaos.

How and what you express, depends on you.
You are the space in which mind and consciousness exist.

Expression in chaos, is emotion, and is mind.
Expression in stillness will always invoke consciousness.

Your experience is the result of your expression.

When love, joy, freedom and truth
have become the song of your experience,
you will know that life has become your expression.

– YIN, 2010

Genshai – never treat yourself small

I attended a conference today where Kevin Hall spoke. He coaches people to see and attain their vision, including olympic athletes, top level executives, etc. He is also big into the power of words, how they are used and the impact they can have. He was amazing.

Kevin introduced the word Genshai today.

It means to never act/speak/behave in a way that will make someone feel small;

never let anyone treat you small, and;

never treat yourself small.

I love this. I won’t elaborate much because I think each can let it sink in what Genshai means to them and perhaps where they are not honoring Genshai.

Thriving Child is Moving to Wallingford!!

I am pleased and excited to announce that I will be moving my office to the Wallingford neighborhood of Seattle. My new location will be at 45th and Sunnyside, just a few blocks from I-5.

This new bigger space will be even more kid friendly for child therapy. I hope it will make it a bit easier for my clients from Bellevue and the east side with quick access to the 520 Bridge. It’s also just another 10 minute drive south for current clients. With Fremont, U Village and Greenlake near by, I know this will be a great move. There will still be free, easy residential parking and the waiting room has a nice big window for the parents who sit there during session.

The move will, at the latest, be in March – but perhaps more like mid-February.

More details to follow.

Who you are makes a difference

http://www.blueribbonmovie.com/

This movie is awesome. Truly a great reminder that everyone needs to hear that others care about them and that we each make a difference….and, you never know the impact you might have on another’s life – even when you think it is just a small gesture.

Now taking Premera Blue Cross Insurance

I am now a provider with Premera Blue Cross Insurance. If you have Premera then I will bill them directly for counseling services for you or your child. My office is located in Seattle near Northgate. Please visit my main website at www.thriving-child.com to learn more about the therapy I provide for children, teens, and adults.

For all other insurance companies I am considered an out-of-network provider. Many insurance carriers will reimburse if you see someone out of the network. You can call your insurance company and ask what the agreement is for your policy.

Holidays

The holidays can be a hectic time in any family. In many families the social calendar doubles, there are many things to do and places to go. For kiddos that are worriers or anxious, or those that need structure, the hurriedness and unpredictable schedules of the holidays can increase anxiety and/or meltdowns. I think as adults it’s easy to get caught up in our own to-dos and go-heres and just sort of pull the kids along for the ride without actually telling them what is going on. Telling your child what the plan is for the day, where they will be going, how long they’ll be there, etc, can go along way to create structure and diminish anxiety – and will help transitions go easier as well since they won’t be out of the blue.

The Invitation

I love this. I have had a typed copy on my bulletin board for years. I have not idea who wrote it or where it comes from, but it speaks to me.

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from the fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Internet and Video Game Addiction

CNN – Internet linked to depression/ADHD in teens

This article posted at CNN.com covers a study looking at internet addiction in teens. They note “it’s more likely to happen if kids are depressed, hostile, or have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or social phobia,” which definitely makes sense. Video games and the internet appeal to the senses of someone with ADHD, and also provide simulation and an outlet, or a sense of connection, for teens with depression or social issues.

I am pretty concerned with the amount of kids and teens I am seeing in my Seattle counseling and therapy practice that could be considered addicted or at least extremely over-focused on video games or the internet. Although the study looked at teenagers, I also see many kids between the ages of 9-12 (ie pre-teen) who also really struggle with internet/video game addiction as well.

Many kids seem to be fine with “screen time”, computer use, and video games – but it can be a slippery slope with some kids – get a DS or PSP for a birthday and often parents think it is great for a bit – it keeps kids occupied, you know where they are, even used as a tool for motivation (ie – get a new game when you clean up your room, get A’s, etc). But frequently I’ve seen kiddos who end up only wanting and being on the DS or computer, they stop playing or finding other things to do, and if they can’t be on the game then they sit and think about being on the game..waiting until they can play. I’ve seen situations where it seems that the device becomes the only motivator, where a kiddo won’t do anything without the “reward” of game time afterwards. I’ve even seen kids who literally seem to go through withdrawal when the game/device/time is taken away – being irritable, aggressive, have trouble sleeping, even displaying physical pain, body aches, etc.

Even more challenging, as the article notes, can be the treatment. We are surrounded by the internet – kids are even required to use it for school work and projects – so it is not the type of addiction where we can just remove the “problem” (ie internet) all together and call it good. Video game devices might be a bit easier to take away all together, but often I see parents resorting back to using it as a motivator or reward…and with so many video games available on the computer…and kids needing a computer/internet for school…we have a challenge on our hands.

I think its extremely important for parents to monitor and limit game and screen time starting at a young age. Kiddos addicted to screen time may literally need to go cold-turkey and detox by not having access for a significant period of time, but ultimately they need to be taught to use the computer or game responsibly. Also, equally important is addressing underlying factors related to video and internet addiction – depression, ADHD, low self esteem, social phobias, anxiety – all make video games more appealing than the real world and must be addressed and treated for progress to be made.

I also have concerns about kids with a tendency towards video game or internet addiction as children and what might happen in the future if left untreated or to “run its course”. I think there is a concern that these kids are learning to medicate and self-regulate with a external stimulus like video games – and could this lead to drug or alcohol addiction in their adulthood in a similar attempt to self medicate. We have to help them while they are young – and usually it is only the adults in their life that can see that video games might be a problem. These kids aren’t able to regulate the video games themselves and parents have got to be aware and involved.