Seattle Child Therapy – Thriving Child Blog

Book Recommendation: NutureShock

One of the best, most interesting books I have read in awhile is NurtureShock by Bronson and Merryman. Each chapter pulls together research to discuss a variety of topics including: the impact of praise, the loss of an hour of sleep, why kids lie, intelligence testing in kindergartners, and more.

It is an easy read, and fascinating. I have been telling every parent I meet with to read at least the first chapter, titled: The Inverse Power of Praise. It looks at the impact of praising process (ie good effort) versus outcome (yay you got straight A’s). The short of it is that when children are praised on the outcome, they put out less effort and take less risks – they tend to not try something if there is a chance they could fail.

A common issue I hear from parents in my counseling practice in Seattle, is that their child will give up if something doesn’t come very easily to them. If an activity/lesson/task is hard, or perceived as hard, the child might resist even trying it, or at the first sign of trouble give up completely. Unfortunately this sets up a situation where the child “feels” like they are going to be unsuccessful, and then they are unsuccessful (because they didn’t persist long enough to experience any success), which confirms their first “feeling” that they weren’t going to be successful…and makes them less likely to try the next time they “feel” like their not going to be successful – and if we are praising them on their success, then here we have little opportunity to praise them.  When we can shift our attention to the effort – to their concentration, their planning, – we help take the focus off whether they can “do it” or not, and create success around the effort. I’m not saying it is a magic bullet that over night will turn your kiddo from reserved to a risk taker, but it is an excellent place to start.

Looking up to you

“Someone is looking up to you now, preparing to follow your example. Let this guide your next choice.”
- Neale Donald Walsh

Whether you are aware of it or not, your child is watching you and learning from you – your behaviors, words, emotions – so what are you teaching them? What are they learning from you? What do YOU need to change?

we are all one – great video

I just saw this video on you tube and had to post it here. From the mouths of babes…we are all one.

We are all one – on You Tube

yoga and kids

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/11/13/kids.yoga/index.html

This article is a great introduction for how yoga can benefit kids. I see it as a way for kids to connect to their body, learn to control their movement and breath, and be grounded. When some kids have a hard time talking about painful issues, yoga could be a great tool to get the emotional energy moving and release energy.

Want to raise funds for your child’s school?

I have a unique way for schools to do a fundraiser while contributing to an amazing cause.

Nourish the Children is a foundation which sends Vitameal, a specific meal formulation to Africa, Asia, and China. Vitameal was specifically designed to be suitable for starving children as a highly nutritious, easily absorbed food – that also must be cooked (to kill bacteria that might be in the water). The school would have people purchase and donate bags of Vitameal which is automatically sent to the areas in needs. When you donate a product (rather than money), you know exactly how your contribution is being used.

If you want to know how this can be used as a fundraiser for your child’s school, call me 206-851-8276 or email me at robyn@thriving-child.com. check out www.howisey.millionsofmeals.com for more information on the Nourish the Children Foundation and Vitameal.

improve attention span with Omega-3′s – excerpt Daniel Amen

Below is an except from Dr. Daniel Amen’s email newsletter I received this week. A nice concise statement in support of giving kids fish oil to improve concentration.

Have you ever wondered how to improve your child’s attention span without prescription medicine?

Researchers at the University of Cincinnati may have found a solution for you. The researchers recruited 33 boys aged eight to 10 for a study involving supplementation with DHA, an omega-3 fatty acid and the principle fatty acid in the gray matter of the brain. The boys were divided into three groups that received either a placebo, a low-dose (400mg) DHA supplement, or a high-dose (1,200 mg) DHA supplement. Using MRI brain imaging to test the boys’ attention level, the scientists found that both the low-dose and high-dose DHA groups experienced greater increases in attention. The imaging tests also revealed increased activity in the prefrontal cortex. This finding comes as no surprise since low activity in the prefrontal cortex is associated with attention deficit disorder. I recommend omega-3 supplements, such as our Omega-3 Power formula, which contains 580mg of DHA per serving to all of my patients with ADD.

To Your Brain Health,

Daniel G. Amen, MD CEO, Amen Clinics, Inc.
Distinguished Fellow, American Psychiatric Association

3 Steps to Extinguish Unwanted Behaviors!

Now seeing clients in Wallingford

I am pleased to announce the move is complete and I am now seeing clients in my new Wallingford office, at Wallingford Work Spaces. Located at Sunnyside and 45th, this new location has easy access to I-5 and street parking and is easier for those coming from Bellevue and the east side. I’m excited because my office is much bigger – more room for kids to play, do art, and just be! I also love that my building is filled with photographers, acupuncturists, therapists, graphic designers, etc. So when you are waiting in the waiting room, no one knows who you might be there to see (ie more privacy), and kids don’t feel like they are going to a doctor’s office (not that anything is wrong with doctors, but sometimes kids aren’t so comfortable).

I will also be expanding my practice into anti-aging health and skin care. I’m very excited to offer some of the best multi-vitamins available, for both kids and adults, as well as skin care to stop the process of aging in the skin, address acne, and wrinkles. This is a very exciting time and I’m excited to share this with you. www.howisey.ageloc.com

Your experience is the result of your expression

The words below are from the gate144.com newsletter I subscribe to.

Read it a couple of times and think about it – are you expressing or emoting?

Thoughts are the language of mind.
Feelings are the song of consciousness.
Stillness is the space between both.

Feelings often result in expressions.
Thoughts always result in emotions.

When you emote instead of express,
the space in between (YOU) is in chaos.

How and what you express, depends on you.
You are the space in which mind and consciousness exist.

Expression in chaos, is emotion, and is mind.
Expression in stillness will always invoke consciousness.

Your experience is the result of your expression.

When love, joy, freedom and truth
have become the song of your experience,
you will know that life has become your expression.

– YIN, 2010

Genshai – never treat yourself small

I attended a conference today where Kevin Hall spoke. He coaches people to see and attain their vision, including olympic athletes, top level executives, etc. He is also big into the power of words, how they are used and the impact they can have. He was amazing.

Kevin introduced the word Genshai today.

It means to never act/speak/behave in a way that will make someone feel small;

never let anyone treat you small, and;

never treat yourself small.

I love this. I won’t elaborate much because I think each can let it sink in what Genshai means to them and perhaps where they are not honoring Genshai.