Seattle Child Therapy – Thriving Child Blog

texting teens + drugs/alcohol = clueless adults

Mind boggling, I’d say that is the right word to describe how I felt when I read this article on cnn about the coding teens use while texting about drugs and alcohol. It is honestly mind boggling the amount of code that is out there they teens are using to cover their tracks while communicating.

In my therapy practice here in Seattle, I have pretty open and honest conversations about teens and what they are texting and they teach me some pretty interesting stuff. But, in therapy, we are talking about texting – I’m not usually seeing their actual texts, and this article got me wondering if parents are actually looking at the texts their kids are sending or receiving. Personally, I didn’t realize that the entire paragraph could be encoded. Sure, I use a short cut or two in my own texting, but teens are using pretty obscure texts especially in the realm of sex, drugs, and alcohol. Just the stuff they don’t want parents to find out about. Check out this link to see just how in the dark you might be.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/08/26/kids.drugs.text/index.html

If you do check your teen’s phone, I would also be suspicious of no texts at all. I tend to feel like, if they are deleting texts, they are doing it for a reason.

Hypnosis for teens

I have been incorporating elements from hypnosis into some of my work with teens, with really fantastic results. I know some people freak out at the word hypnosis, but really it’s a process of being in a very relaxed state. You are still aware and know everything that is going on around you, and can have a conversation, but my experience lately with teens is that their defenses are lowered, they don’t feel like they are supposed to give a “right” answer, and we seem to get deeper into the meat of what is going on in their life. Teens report enjoying the sessions and seem more able to talk about some tough tough issues. In typical counseling sessions, I think sometimes teens can feel like things get too intense (ie looking and talking directly to the therapist) and put on the breaks. In a hypnosis session they have their eyes closed, and seem to go wherever their mind takes them to bring up what needs to be brought it.

I’ve seen it work extremely well for teens dealing with grief and loss, and for those struggling with feeling like they can’t talk to their parents or another key figure in their life. I am really enjoying this new element to my work and am excited to share it with current and new clients.

Book Recommendation: NutureShock

One of the best, most interesting books I have read in awhile is NurtureShock by Bronson and Merryman. Each chapter pulls together research to discuss a variety of topics including: the impact of praise, the loss of an hour of sleep, why kids lie, intelligence testing in kindergartners, and more.

It is an easy read, and fascinating. I have been telling every parent I meet with to read at least the first chapter, titled: The Inverse Power of Praise. It looks at the impact of praising process (ie good effort) versus outcome (yay you got straight A’s). The short of it is that when children are praised on the outcome, they put out less effort and take less risks – they tend to not try something if there is a chance they could fail.

A common issue I hear from parents in my counseling practice in Seattle, is that their child will give up if something doesn’t come very easily to them. If an activity/lesson/task is hard, or perceived as hard, the child might resist even trying it, or at the first sign of trouble give up completely. Unfortunately this sets up a situation where the child “feels” like they are going to be unsuccessful, and then they are unsuccessful (because they didn’t persist long enough to experience any success), which confirms their first “feeling” that they weren’t going to be successful…and makes them less likely to try the next time they “feel” like their not going to be successful – and if we are praising them on their success, then here we have little opportunity to praise them.  When we can shift our attention to the effort – to their concentration, their planning, – we help take the focus off whether they can “do it” or not, and create success around the effort. I’m not saying it is a magic bullet that over night will turn your kiddo from reserved to a risk taker, but it is an excellent place to start.

Looking up to you

“Someone is looking up to you now, preparing to follow your example. Let this guide your next choice.”
- Neale Donald Walsh

Whether you are aware of it or not, your child is watching you and learning from you – your behaviors, words, emotions – so what are you teaching them? What are they learning from you? What do YOU need to change?

we are all one – great video

I just saw this video on you tube and had to post it here. From the mouths of babes…we are all one.

We are all one – on You Tube

yoga and kids

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/11/13/kids.yoga/index.html

This article is a great introduction for how yoga can benefit kids. I see it as a way for kids to connect to their body, learn to control their movement and breath, and be grounded. When some kids have a hard time talking about painful issues, yoga could be a great tool to get the emotional energy moving and release energy.

Want to raise funds for your child’s school?

I have a unique way for schools to do a fundraiser while contributing to an amazing cause.

Nourish the Children is a foundation which sends Vitameal, a specific meal formulation to Africa, Asia, and China. Vitameal was specifically designed to be suitable for starving children as a highly nutritious, easily absorbed food – that also must be cooked (to kill bacteria that might be in the water). The school would have people purchase and donate bags of Vitameal which is automatically sent to the areas in needs. When you donate a product (rather than money), you know exactly how your contribution is being used.

If you want to know how this can be used as a fundraiser for your child’s school, call me 206-851-8276 or email me at robyn@thriving-child.com. check out www.howisey.millionsofmeals.com for more information on the Nourish the Children Foundation and Vitameal.

improve attention span with Omega-3′s – excerpt Daniel Amen

Below is an except from Dr. Daniel Amen’s email newsletter I received this week. A nice concise statement in support of giving kids fish oil to improve concentration.

Have you ever wondered how to improve your child’s attention span without prescription medicine?

Researchers at the University of Cincinnati may have found a solution for you. The researchers recruited 33 boys aged eight to 10 for a study involving supplementation with DHA, an omega-3 fatty acid and the principle fatty acid in the gray matter of the brain. The boys were divided into three groups that received either a placebo, a low-dose (400mg) DHA supplement, or a high-dose (1,200 mg) DHA supplement. Using MRI brain imaging to test the boys’ attention level, the scientists found that both the low-dose and high-dose DHA groups experienced greater increases in attention. The imaging tests also revealed increased activity in the prefrontal cortex. This finding comes as no surprise since low activity in the prefrontal cortex is associated with attention deficit disorder. I recommend omega-3 supplements, such as our Omega-3 Power formula, which contains 580mg of DHA per serving to all of my patients with ADD.

To Your Brain Health,

Daniel G. Amen, MD CEO, Amen Clinics, Inc.
Distinguished Fellow, American Psychiatric Association

3 Steps to Extinguish Unwanted Behaviors!

Now seeing clients in Wallingford

I am pleased to announce the move is complete and I am now seeing clients in my new Wallingford office, at Wallingford Work Spaces. Located at Sunnyside and 45th, this new location has easy access to I-5 and street parking and is easier for those coming from Bellevue and the east side. I’m excited because my office is much bigger – more room for kids to play, do art, and just be! I also love that my building is filled with photographers, acupuncturists, therapists, graphic designers, etc. So when you are waiting in the waiting room, no one knows who you might be there to see (ie more privacy), and kids don’t feel like they are going to a doctor’s office (not that anything is wrong with doctors, but sometimes kids aren’t so comfortable).

I will also be expanding my practice into anti-aging health and skin care. I’m very excited to offer some of the best multi-vitamins available, for both kids and adults, as well as skin care to stop the process of aging in the skin, address acne, and wrinkles. This is a very exciting time and I’m excited to share this with you. www.howisey.ageloc.com